We’re all going to die…. Let’s talk about life instead.

Yes, we’re all going to die anyway. Let’s talk about life instead.

The fear of death makes us do stupid things. Like buy excessive amounts of toilet paper, acquire masks that may or may not do us any good, and pretend that it’s all just some kooky hoax designed by a mysterious global group looking to control the masses. Maybe it is, who knows?

What we do know is that we’re all going to die. Eventually.

Accepting that premise allows us to take it off the table. Being fearful and doing silly things to avoid it does only one thing….

It prevents us from living our lives to the fullest.

What that means is we stay stuck in a place of worry, reviewing stats, buying massive quantities of things we think we need and thereby depriving others of their needs and desires…

The truth is, there’s always more coming to us. There’s always a road ahead.

If Dorothy let fear take over her life, her entire being, she never would have made it home. So, for us, for now… we keep going. Keep moving forward. So we can find our way home instead of being stuck in the Land of Oz.

Even if we decide to hunker down and go nowhere, the world continues on around us. We’re all floating down a stream of life. We can allow the stream to take us where it may. We can try to turn around and paddle upstream (that usually doesn’t work very well). Or we can look ahead, paddle faster, direct our little raft of life to the place we really want to go.

Maybe it’s a side stream that will take us to a wonderful little grotto nobody else knows.

Perhaps it’s flowing faster and faster towards a vast, beautiful lake full of spring fed, crystal clear waters. Where people congregate at a safe distance in their boats, together with their families, smiling and waving.

Or it could even be down through some wild and exciting rapids that end at the bottom of a vast canyon, where you can float again, peacefully, surrounded by ancient rock walls and exposed to an unpolluted night sky full of more stars than you’ve ever seen.

We’re all going to die.

Some day.

But for now, we’re alive. You have choices about how you spend those waking, alive hours.

You can….

- Sit on the couch and eat all the ice cream, watch all the Netflix

- Go outside for a walk and see the stars in your own sky, right where you are

- Decide now is the time you start to do the thing you always wanted to do… write a song, self publish a book, paint again like you used to years ago.

Now’s your chance to let go of the things in your life that cluttered it up. That covered up the things you felt that kept you from realizing your full potential.

The things you felt you had to do, but didn’t really want to do. The things other people told you to do. The things you felt obliged to carry out that furthered someone else’s wishes.

If you had to get rid of everything and start tomorrow anew, what would you bring into your life first? What would you do to make a living?

What if money was no object and you could do that which makes you happy?

If your only desire was to serve humanity, how would you do that?

We’re all going to die.

But today, we live.

And tomorrow and the next day and the day after.

Let’s make the most of it while we can.

Lawyers… Feeling Stressed Out, Burned Out, and Just About to Check Out and Move to the Beach?

Moving to the beach - it’s all fun and games until you have to pay the college tuition.

If that sounds at all like you, here are 3 things you can do now to reclaim your life (and your sanity)….

It’s easy for life to get away from us lawyers. The work we do can lead to some pretty heavy consequences and sometimes we have a lot of clean up to do on behalf of our clients. Many of us carry the burdens our clients can’t for themselves.

But we’re human, too. And we often don’t do a very good job of taking care of us. Once we hit our 40s and 50s, we can’t get by on adrenaline and coffee (and maybe other substances, too – it’s not exactly a secret that our profession has a HUGE problem with substance abuse) alone.

We have to get real about what our priorities are, what we need the most, and whether we are ready to heed warning signs our bodies and our families may have already given us. Those warning signs come in the form of failing relationships and failing health.

The good news is those things can always be remedied. We always have a chance to change. To do better by and for ourselves. And that means we can do better for others we care about, too. Because we won’t be able to do that for anyone if we’re actually not around at all anymore.

When it comes to bringing our work lives into better alignment with our outside-of-work lives, there are a few places to start. A big part of making lasting changes comes from getting real about a few things so that we can create new habits that support the changes we want to make.

Here are my 3 favorite places to start…

1) Get real with your time…

If you live by the billable hour, you know that every minute of the day is NOT billable. And that shooting for an 8 hour billed day means you’re probably working more like 9 or 10, right? Maybe more… And even if most of your work is flat fee or contingent fee, it’s amazing to see how much time gets wasted when we aren’t spending it mindfully. And that means more hours working than we may find desirable.

Imagine you always had enough time.

Guess what? You do.

Now choose what you do with it. It’s up to you.

Have you ever stopped to figure out how much time you spend on little things? Do you add up all those little bits of time spent on things like a phone call from a friend, or an unplanned visit from a neighbor? Perhaps on grocery shopping, surfing the net, or perhaps the biggest time suck of all… social media?

If you feel like you have plenty of time for everything in your life that matters, CONGRATULATIONS!!! you can skip the rest of this section, but if you don’t, I want you to stop and think about where time goes for you.

If you begin to control your schedule, allocate certain blocks of time for specific activities (such as taking and returning phone calls and responding to emails only at particular hours of the day), I guarantee you’ll find a lot more efficiency in those tasks. And probably take back a surprising amount of time in your day.

Are there things you can stop doing yourself? Get a grocery or food box delivery service? Have a house cleaner (even just once a month makes a difference), or a virtual assistant? Perhaps contract attorneys who can pick up work that needs to get done, but not necessarily by you? Are there volunteer projects that really don’t need your vision and expertise (or at least right now)?

If you catch yourself saying “I don’t have enough time to [fill in the blank],” I invite you to change your inner dialogue to “I choose to [fill in the blank.” That one sentence will make you more aware of what you do with your time. And remind you that you always have a choice. No matter what.

Instead of “I don’t have time to cook a healthy dinner,” how about “I choose to have healthy food choices available to me?” Or , instead of “I don’t have time to work out….”, try “I choose to prioritize working out today at [whatever time].”

The work will be there when you get back. I promise.

2) Get real with your money….

How much do you want to make? That’s the first question. If you don’t know the answer, it’s an important place to start. Even if you have a strictly salaried job, there are ways to increase your revenue if it’s not where you want it to be.

And if you’re working your tail off, missing out on important life events, and making more than you need, but not sure how to step down your time commitment, maybe it’s time to take a look at why you’re doing that….

Perhaps you're burning dough on things you don't need or aren't working for you. Expensive SEO not doing a thing for you? Have an admin that isn't earning his keep? Remember, you're trading YOUR time for money to support those things. It may be time to clear out expenses that aren't serving you. And that may be keeping you from spending money and time on things you really want to do for yourself, your family, or your community..

Once you get clear on this point and this point alone, you can start making different choices about how you spend your time, how you improve your practice, and what you do from here on out. It make zero sense to invest in anything different (marketing, time management, or a new admin) until you know what it is you really want to achieve, whether it’s greater revenue or more free time.

Or both.

You be you.

You’re the only one who can.

3) Get real with yourself….

If you’ve read this far, I’m guessing the odds are high that you’re unhappy or at least just not 100% satisfied for how your life and career are aligned at the moment. A great marketing coach I had the pleasure to meet recently introduced me to the phrase “loving hardass.” If you’re not happy in some aspect of your life, perhaps you need to become your own loving hardass. You’re in the place you’re in because of the choices you make. It’s that simple. The good news about THAT is you also can change the position you’re in by making different choices. You're the one in control of you, nobody else is. It’s that simple.

Once you own your choices, your actions, and the role YOU play in your situation, you can make some HUGE leaps forward, fix anything you want, and increase the satisfaction you have in your life.

If you pick just one of these three areas as a place for you to start right now and truly commit – I mean, really, truly decide that this is the thing you want to work on right now – you will make progress. But it’s probably not going to happen overnight (although it can if you want it to!) and nobody else will do it for you.

Are you wanting to make some changes? If so, where are you going to start? Is this your time?

If you want to take some action now, reach out, book a call, and I’ll let you know how. Whether it’s just joining our newsletter list, our Facebook group, or more in-depth group or one-on-one coaching, there’s a place for you for where you are now and where you want to go next. We're here when you're ready.

Letting Go of Imposter Syndrome - A Foolproof Plan to Boost Your Confidence

Time to take off the mask?

Ever feel like you’re just waiting for the day to come when someone figures out you have no idea what the heck you’re doing?

Feel like you’re trying to fake it ‘til you make it?

But deep down, you actually know you’re really good at what you do? Maybe other people even tell you that (but you don’t quite believe it….)

It’s called imposter syndrome. And it’s a sign of a lack of confidence.

A lack of confidence is NOT the same as a lack of competence.

If this rings true for you and you don’t get to the root of what is really going on, odds are you may throw in the towel before getting very far – and just before your time to shine arrives.

Waking up every day with the stress of low confidence hanging over you isn’t healthy. And it can hold you back in your career and life.

Fixing it is easier than you realize. You just need to shift your thinking to boost your confidence.

Here’s a little secret….

You don’t have to show up with the “Eye of the Tiger” playing in your head every morning, but it certainly makes life a lot easier when you learn how to feel like the rockstar you actually are.

“How do I do that?” you may ask.

It’s pretty easy once you get the hang of it.

Try these tips. Make it a habit to remind yourself of these things and they’ll raise your self-confidence through the roof:

1. Know thyself. Make a list of all of your strengths and capabilities. Include things that you seem to have a talent for but have never actually tried. Perhaps you’re reliable, intelligent, coordinated, and have excellent musical abilities.

Putting your positive qualities on paper will show you the many reasons you have to be self-confident. You’re already doing better than you think.

Pat yourself on the back…. Literally. I mean it. You deserve it.

2. List your major achievements. Think about all the amazing things you’ve already accomplished. We humans tend to linger on our perceived failures. Try lingering on the good stuff for a change. Don’t forget - you can choose our thoughts, so choose wisely.

3. Make a list of your daily accomplishments. At the end of each day, make a list of all (or even just a few) of the things you accomplished.

Maybe it is as simple as you remembered to take the trash to the curb, pay all your bills on time, exercised for 30 minutes, and helped your child fix her bike.

It might sound trivial, but each of these little things matter.

Celebrating victories creates a higher vibration of positivity in the brain. A higher vibration of positivity attracts more of the same. Who doesn’t want that?

4. Learn how to motivate yourself. Real, justified confidence comes from the ability to achieve goals. Achieving goals largely comes from the ability to stay motivated.

We all know it's easier to put things off, procrastinate, and invent excuses for not applying ourselves.

Set yourself up to be successful each day. Come up with a few daily activities that will improve your life and also provide a sense of accomplishment.

For example, you might decide to read a certain number of pages in a book each night or exercise for 45 minutes each morning.

Stick with your plan and you'll begin to trust yourself to follow through.

5. Take good care of yourself. Looking and feeling your best can contribute to your self-confidence. Take the time to stay healthy and fit. Dress well and practice good grooming habits.

If you take good care of yourself, you'll start to believe you deserve it. And others will believe you deserve it, too. That’s great for your confidence level!

What’s something you can do today that’s good for you?

6. Set goals to boost your confidence. Setting goals is important. It allows you to see what areas of your life require the most confidence. If you have the goal of finding your perfect life partner, you might require more confidence than when it comes to introducing yourself to others. Or maybe your goal is to plank for 1 minute every day for 30 days.

Setting a goal and accomplishing it builds overall confidence – even if it isn’t in the area where you’re feeling the most confidence-challenged.

7. Challenge your mind on a regular basis. Continue learning new things and keep your mind sharp. Everyone around you will find you interesting.

Consider reading, doing brain puzzles, staying on top of current events, improving your vocabulary, and playing games that require a lot of thought.

8. Work at it every day. Work to complete these simple steps continuously. Strive to better yourself in all of these areas each day.

Self-confidence is not a one-time event. It has to be cultivated over time. Growing your self-confidence is not much different from growing vegetables in a garden.

9. Don’t pretend you know things you don’t. This should be a no-brainer, but if you have the idea in your head that you need to show up as having more knowledge about something than you do, you’ll always feel like an imposter. If there’s something you need to learn for your job to get rid of that feeling, then go learn it. Ask to go to a conference, find an online course, read a book, or develop a relationship with a mentor you trust.

Having a high level of confidence makes life so much more enjoyable. By executing a simple action plan, increasing your confidence can be fun and interesting.

Consider drawing up your own personalized self-confidence action plan. It can be incredibly rewarding. By taking charge of your life, you’ll boost your confidence even higher.

Not sure how to start developing your own plan to boost your confidence? Start here with these tips. And if it doesn’t start clicking for you, reach out, book a call and see if some one-on-one coaching might be a good next step for you. A little investment now can pay off big for you down the road!

Curiosity may kill a cat, but it’s good for humans (when you use it the right way)…

A Fool-Proof Formula for Stimulating Your Natural Curiosity

Just like furry felines, we humans are naturally curious creatures. When we stop exploring mentally, we stifle our curiosity. And our souls suffer, our minds disintegrate, and we tend to get pretty darn bored. Who wants that?

Spice up your life by stimulating your natural sense of curiosity. Your daily activities can evoke just as much wonder as any story about Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.

Studies show that we learn better when we’re in a state of heightened curiosity. In one experiment, test subjects who were interested in the answer to a trivia question found it easier to remember other information even when it was completely unrelated to the question at hand.

Take a look at the benefits of nurturing your curious side. An inquiring mind can open up new opportunities for you.

Benefits of Stimulating Your Natural Curiosity

1.     Feel more engaged. When you’re being led by curiosity, you tap into sources of intrinsic motivation. You enjoy your tasks for their own sake rather than plowing through them to reach an external reward. That provides more intense and lasting satisfaction.

2.     Develop wisdom. Curiosity encourages learning. You seek out facts and find ways to apply them to your own life.

Being happy feels good.

Ask someone to tell you their favorite joke.

3.     Strengthen your relationships. Taking a sincere interest in the welfare of others promotes empathy. You listen attentively when your child describes how they feel about their best friend moving away. You’re able to put yourself in their position and provide comfort and validation.

4.     Experience happiness. Brain scans show that curiosity activates the reward center in your brain. Cleaning out the attic becomes fun when you search for treasure in old storage boxes. You discover increased fulfillment as you have fun tackling one challenge after another.

Strategies for Stimulating Your Natural Curiosity

1.     Try new things. Make each day an adventure. Sign up for classes in scuba diving or gourmet cooking. Listen to a different radio station or take the scenic route on your drive home from the office.

Get out of your comfort zone with something new

2.     Read daily. Delve into subjects that fascinate you and pick up new interests by reading books. Visit your local library. Take a second look at the classics you read in high school to see if you appreciate them differently now.

3.     Attend cultural events. Look up art venues in your neighborhood or in cities you travel to for business. Check out the latest exhibitions or concerts.
4.     Study science. Maybe you stopped thinking about science once you graduated from college. Refresh your memory by registering for a biology course online. Browse the science section in a local bookstore. Find simple experiments you can share with your kids.

5.     Consult experts. Fuel your curiosity with inspiration from other curious minds. Contact a popular speaker you met at a conference and ask if you can interview them for your company blog. Chat with the employees at a hardware store to plan your next home improvement project.

6.     Ask questions. Let your boss know you care about your work. Ask why the company is opening a new office in Missouri or redesigning the website.

Change your perception

And ask questions

7.     Think analytically. Critical thinking can change the way you look at assignments that used to bore you, and enhance your performance. Figure out ways to clean the shower faster or simplify the steps for ordering supplies for your department.
8.     Play around. Let go of expectations and welcome surprises. Allow your mind to wander and free up your creativity.

What’s on your travel bucket list?

What can you do now to help make it happen?

9.     Travel the world. A change of scenery provides many reasons to be curious. Find out what the locals are eating for breakfast in Nova Scotia or listen to a jaguar roar in Costa Rica. If you run out of vacation days, camp out in your backyard to see what happens after dark.

Awaken your sense of curiosity. Satisfying your desire for knowledge will deepen your understanding of yourself and others and prepare you for greater success - not to mention satisfy a very basic human need.